Over the last several months, there have been rounds of layoffs at my 9 to 5 job, which have been causing me a great deal of stress. Besides buying small amounts of inventory, I have done no work on the business.
I have just been living each day in total dread of what would happen to me should I no longer have a job. I have no parents who can help me out of a financial bind. I have no partner whose health insurance I can get on after losing my own.
Frankly, I was terrified at the possibility of not being able to afford my medication, being broke, and eventually being homeless. The possibility of finding a job in this economy when so many people are out of work seemed impossible to me.
I worried every day and couldn’t sleep at night running numbers through my head of my expenses and how I needed to lower them more or else. My food budget had to be slashed but the money saved would only give me a little bit of extra time before it ran out.
The last round of layoffs happened at the end of April. There were deep cuts. Whole departments were suddenly gone and colleagues that I had worked with for over a decade were given two days to wrap up their affairs and I would say leave but we’re mostly all working from home because of COVID so there’s nowhere for them to leave right now.
We were told that there would be no more cuts to our department for now but you never know. Working during the pandemic and working with the threat of layoffs looming over me for the past several months has really taken its toll on me. Instead of lighting a fire under me, it has made me want to bury my head in the sand and brace for the worst.
Now that I met my new boss and adapted to the new work structure, I have to really think about my life outside of work. I can’t solely rely on my 9 to 5 job to financially support me. I have to generate my own sources of income. I have to become financially independent because feeling scared of becoming homeless every day is no way to live.
I can’t let my 9 to 5 drain all the energy out of me so that I have nothing left over to work on the business in the off-hours. My hope is that now that this sense of impending doom has lifted, for the time being, I can focus on building a sustainable and profitable business.